emancipation of db

. happy.private.grateful.mesmerized.

dharzZ Domination

Everyday seven takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing's wrong
But there is no more time for lies
Cause I see sunset in your eyes

I'm sorry for the way I let go
From everything I wanted when you came along
But I am never beaten, broken not defeated
I know next to you is not where I belong

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast rigth now
I know this is the part when the end starts

No, Happily never after
That just ain't for me
Because finally I know I deserve better after all
I'll never let another teardrop fall

Falling madly deeply I
Surprise myself enough to find
That what's begun this love and now I'm done, so done

"There is a pussycat doll in every woman" - PCD

karma

What lies beneath the true identity of a person who wants to be loved by someone who never exist in his life. What does it feels like to be used by someone and end up with the word stupidity. What happened if you end up with anger and hatred for someone you loved before. What if the words cared and loved has totally gone. Dream comes to reality and end up with a false hope. Friends into a relationship, now departed on each other. Bitterness to its sweetest taste.

WINNING AFTER LOSING..

in another lifetime

A relationship that I will treasured forever. It is a long road to find your better half and it will come in God's time. Last year, early quarter of the year 2008, unexpected he came to my life. Since then we get to know each other, spending hours for conversations, even in those sleepless nigth, seeing through web cam. Yes. It is a long distance relationship. Through that months that we have been together, I can say he become true to himself without pretending anything, he give me the love that no one can give and shown the respect that I deserved, advices that only him can give. My partner, my friend, my companion, my almost better half. We save our relationship for a reason, we have been in ups and downs. Our relationship is different from the others - we are different in the eyes of everyone. But our love grows even stronger as day goes by. He is older than me, but that is not a doubt to love him unconditionally. Beyond that, I loved him more than any woman can give. A woman who trap in a man's body. Yes I am. Having a commitment is like a thread binding you as one. Through thickness and thin, for richer or poorer, till death do as part. When the heart bit of somebody that you love most, suddenly stop, it is one way of setting him free from his commitments with you and the only thing you can do is - accept it. I know accepting is a hard thing to do, specially if that person means everything to you - your life, your source of breath. All the things that matter today is prayers and only prayers can answer all the questions that hidden in every obstacles. Yesterday, I do sent him a personal message saying that I'm still here. Knowing to the fact that I know that he have a terrible illness with his health and we did'nt update ourselves on what is happening with our individual life since the last quarter of the year. Then early this morning upon signing on my account I received a personal message from him saying:

my_dear (1/8/2009 7:45:06 AM): yes i am still here on earth for another couple of months.i am entering pallitive care this week and want to end my earthly days there getting ready to meet my maker...good luck to u.

and I said:

dharzIELICIOUS: I would like to say this to you "Mahal na mahal na mahal kita dear". All of the things that we have shared will be forever treasured and it will be forever in my heart. I hope and pray that we will met again in God's time. I know it will be hard for me to move on, but I know that you will always there for me guiding me in every step of the way. Mahal na mahal na mahal kita dear.

I know this is the part when the end starts. I am officially setting him free from any commitments that we have. I will never say bye bye to you dear, I know there would be a time that I would see you again, maybe not on this earth but in other place that we call heaven.

a better new

I am looking forward for new things, new opportunities, new people that I will encounter with. - I guess life is full of surprises. New great things might happen - I am always optimistic in every idea, counter part of this that might also happen are the gray days that I must deal with. Beyond on that, I always believe that there would be enough reason for every things that happening with my life - that could happen with my life. New day, new start, new beginnings - to be a better me. It will be a reminder for me that a new blessing comes, no matter how difficult the old days maybe. There would be lot of reason to live and to share, beside, we are here for the others. Live one day at a time, one step on another, keep motivated and take a breath. Things would be simplier and easier. Right? There's no reason to rush on things, it would come - in GOD's will. I love the idea of living and loving, whether in different aspects it maybe. We live to love - to share. So, I have to do my part, to know where I am going? But, if you ask me then, I would say - I am prepared.